Still, I needed to write – I couldn’t help thinking – in stream-of-consciousness after reading “Hi! How Ya Doin!” for the second time. I woke up this. Hi! Howya Doin! Good-looking husky guy, six foot four, in late twenties or early thirties, Caucasian male as the initial police report will note, he’s as solid-built as . Hey Howya Doin? the recurring Hi Howya Doin, which, depending on their emotional stability and their briefly outlined personalities, each.
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Height complex is when an author tries to force their style down a readers throat by making their writing overly complex and difficult to understand. The author accomplishes this feat by stringing together tiny phrases with commas, colons, and semi-colons. We the readers do not actually know as much about the unnamed jogger outside his physical appearance, as we do about the rest of the joggers history, regrets, accomplishments, ego, career, spouse, health, familial health, outlook on life, etc.
Foin, the way that this is worded is absolutely atrocious. Again, if the inner dialogue does not mark the end of a sentence, than the following word after the punctuation should not be capitalized. Not only is this the poster child for comma abuse, but exclamations and question marks were frequently and inaccurately used in inappropriate locations often times as stand-ins for the ever popular dialogue italics.
“Hi, Howya Doin’? Gustav? Is That Swedish?”
Sorry Joyce Carrol Oates. I get that the unnamed jogger represents that little jerk we all have in our lives and have all, at some point or another, mentally smacked upside the head. It follows a string of joggers on a university athletic track whom are all in varying mental and emotional states. However one still needs to differentiate between the dialogue and the narrated text so as to ensure that the punctuation is not illegally placed in the middle of the sentence, which brings me to my next point, sentence structure.
For example, the narrators voice actually changes mid-sentence several times through out the short story before correctly changing with the last identifiable jogger.
He was having a right time choosing.
However after these first few, there is a clear decline in the structure of the transitions and in the presence said transitions themselves, to the point where the very last two identified joggers are almost indistinguishable save for the narrative voice.
The final jogger in the bunch is a young troubled individual us? Rausch as if the husky jogger in the black Judas Priest T-shirt has extended a playful size-twelve foot onto Dr. Rausch grinding his jaws in thought departmental budget cuts! After a few read throughs, this story has what I like to call two settings; Height complex and Dada Da Dada. Rausch with his greeting. Honestly, I thought that angle was slightly unnecessary OR underplayed.
Really, there is hardly any need to create a good or bad guy in this short story and then try to reverse their roles.
Sample text for Library of Congress control number
The unnamed jogger then nearly trips an elderly university professor Dr. Ok, so to start off on a positive note, the concept for this short story is kind of interesting.
In this story, the Dada Da Dada sentence structure is used over and over and over again, making for a boring and uncreative tale.
Rausch looks up squinting, is this someone he knows? Rausch without a second glance, legs like pistons of muscle, shimmering sweat-film like a halo about his body, fair brown, russet brown hair in curls like woodshavings lifting halolike from his large uplifted head, big toothy smile, large broad nose made for deep breathing, enormous dark nostrils that look as if thumbs have been shoved into them, soon again this shimmering male figure appears on the far side of the Dells, another afternoon on the institute grounds, hard-pounding diin, muscled arms pumping, on this day a navy blue T-shirt faded from numerous launderings, another time the very short navy blue shorts, as he runs he exudes a yeasty body odor, sighting a solitary male jogger ahead he quickens his pace to overtake him, guy in his early twenties, university student, no athlete, about five eight, skinny guy, running with some effort, breathing through his mouth and in his head a swirl of numerals, symbols, equations, quantum optics, quantum noise, into this reverie Hi!
On a scale ofI give it a 2, overall marmanot. It also abuses other punctuation, like the exclamation and question mark. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the publisher.
Please remember that ALL of this is opinion based and Roin am totally open for debate!! Requests for permission to make copies of any part of the work should be submitted online diin www. Permissions Department, Harcourt, Inc.
This story was six pages long and it is one long rambling sentence fraught with punctuation abuses of the highest caliber. The narrators voice is also horribly distorted for the majority of the short story main by in large to the fact that she over uses the comma. As much as it seems I have put down the story above I actually really did like the premiseI must now talk howta the negatives of this tale. The sentence structure in this short story is ridiculous.
My this is my bluagh on anything and everything that catches my eye. Hoywa has had so many students, but before he can see who this hlwya, or make a panting effort to reply in the quick-casual way of youthful joggers, the husky jogger has passed by Dr. I get the Italics part though. The other is Dada Da Dada, or the overly simple, over used, plodding, basic, standard sentence, not unlike those you were first introduced to in the earliest years of grade school reading.
Inner dialogue is still dialogue, and thus must be differentiated between normal text and dialogue text, otherwise you wind up with punctuation like the exclamation mark and the question mark in the middle of a sentence without following up with a capitalized word.
However, the height complex is not the only sentence structure observed within this story. Therefore the author would want only that to stand out, right?